Work to be done

I'm not doing very well on my commitment to my blog. I'm making strides in the correct direction, but I'm still failing. I hope to improve - in all areas of my life, really.

I wish I was already there. I get frustrated too easily. I'm vicious with my words. I intimidate people. The funny thing is I don't see myself that way at all, but I see those things in myself and I'm forced to wonder how they get there and how come they feel more natural than being who I feel like I am. Like when did communication become so tough for me? When did I lose the ability to easily understand what others were trying to say? In short, how have I become the person that I am today?

Because, sometimes I just don't recognize myself.

I have lots of excuses. However, I don't believe in excuses. I can rationalize why I act the way I do, but that is just an easy way to get out of something I don't want to deal with. I just have to deal with the reality that I'm not who I think I am, but I can become who I want to be. Really, that is the only real solace on which I have to fall back. The only thing I have to look forward to, that will encourage my sad realization and spur it on to something greater than it is currently.

I choose to become who I want to be.

You can choose too.

E

PS
I'm sorry for those of you that have to deal with me when I find myself being who I currently am instead of who I aspire to be. Please be patient. I'm working on it.