Back Again

I'm back again to update the blog. Blogging for me is fun, and I like to be able to put my thought into a viable form that can be read. Blogs are great things. Sadly, I don't keep up with my blog as I should. I neglect it for days on end. I'm so unfair to the blog. I like to do things 100% or not at all, and as such I've decided to take down my loopness blog. I just can't spend the time on it that it needs to be a good blog. So rather than be mired in the mediocrity of an occasional blog here and there I'm going to close up the blog and move on. It's not like I ever got any comments on it anyway, and my total readership (including myself) is like 4 people (and the other 3 probably only look at it when I ask them too) so it's not like it is going to impact anyone really.

If someone actually reads this, I do want to say THANK YOU! for the time you spent with me and my blog (I also want to say %$#@&* OFF for not posting any comments ;)

I'm not sure when the blog delete date with be, but prolly in the next week or so.

Thanks again for reading :)

Remember,
Be good
And if you can't,
At least be good at it

E

St Louie

I'm off to St Louis today with my family to pick up my Grandma Meli from the airport. I usually shy away from trips like this (screaming kids, my sisters, etc) but as I was sleeping last night something came to me in my sleep. Lots of good ideas come to me in my sleep - you would think that I would sleep more :)

I realized that there are casinos in St Louis and that I should get some much needed experience at the poker tables when I can. So I'm off to play some Texas Hold 'em tonight. Wish me luck and skill as I will probably need both.

See you tomorrow.

Remember, be good
And if you can't
At least be good at it ;)

E

Shocker

Yes, I decided to update my blog two days in a row. A total shocker to me too. I thought that as long as I had some time on my hands I would go ahead and give my blog the updating attention that it deserves. I mean, I have neglected it quite a bit in the last few months. So here it goes...

Things have been quiet for me since the election. I have been spending time with my family and friends before moving on to the next phase of my life. It was nice to have some time with my relatives in Maryland and New Jersey before coming back home to Harrison. I was able to spend some time with my cousin Kevin and ride around with him in his sweet Matco tool truck. He only has one rule on the truck - no farting! Well to be more specific, the rule is actually that nothing may come out of your ass while you are on the truck. For instance, things can go into your ass, but once there they must stay. Nothing comes out. If you do fail to follow the one rule, then you are warned - ONCE and only once. After that if you break the rule you are charged a hazardous materials fee of $10 (which I think is pretty reasonable really when you stop to consider the pain inflicted on others when you fart) and then Kevin charges you tax on that fee. A gas tax you could call it :)

We had a good Thanksgiving here in Arkansas. Everyone got stuffed like a turkey at, well, Thanksgiving.

I've been playing poker a lot as of late. I'm preparing to make a run at going pro. Yes, many have counseled me against it, but you only live once and I am ready for the challenge. I was talking with my cousin Seth the other day (he has the poker bug too) and he just won his way into a money poker tournament from a freeroll (a tournament where you don't have to pay to play). Go Seth! He and I are planning to study together to get ready to play in the pro ranks starting sometime next year. We hope to make a run at the 2006 World Series of Poker (but if we win our way into a free spot in the 2005 WSOP then we give that a shot too).

The other night we had a poker game here at Mom and Dad's house> Consisting of me and my sisters - Mary Catherine, Melody, and Emily, my brother-in-law Eric and my friend Ben. We started around 9pm and finished at 4am! I won, of course ;)

Well, that's all for now. I'll be back again soon with more (or less).

Remember...
Be Good
And if you can't
Then at least be good at it ;)

E

Love is...

Do you remember those stickers that were really popular in the 70s? You know, the one of the two naked kids on top of the world holding hands. At the top of the sticker it would say "Love is..." And then at the bottom of the sticker were various different answers to what "Love is..." Like some would say "Forever and Ever" or "Eating Chocolate" My last girlfriend gave me one that I still carry around (it's actually a little credit card-esque thing that you carry in your wallet). The one that Jenn gave me says "Love is..." "Being Together"

She was right.

There are soooo many rants that come to mind when talking about subjects like this - the commercialism of a core value like love, the ridiculousness of trying to explain such a complex subject in such a short space, etc. However, I thought it might be interesting to see what "answers" I could come up with and possibility expand on them instead. SO here goes..

Love is...

Here Today and Gone Tomorrow
Compassionate
Patient
Kind
Lonely - unless there are two of you
A full time job
Like a Poker Game - you have to know when to hold 'em
The Greatest Thing in the World
What I have to give you - Today, Tomorrow, Forever

Love is like a casino. Everyone goes in there looking for the same thing - to win big. Everyone has terrible odds going in. Everyone is going to lose some and win some. Some will win more than others. Some will lose more than others. Some will experience the thrills of winning the big jackpot, and some will experience the heartbreak of the most devastating loss they have ever known. And still others will experience both. Some enjoy their time in the casino, and some hate it and can't wait to leave.

However, you can only keep a winning streak alive for so long before you lose. So there is only one way to come out of love (or a casino) a winner. When you win the big jackpot, take the winnings and walk out of the casino a winner.

It's a little easier to realize that you won the jackpot in a casino and know that you should leave (I mean they have buzzers and lights and such, how do you miss that as a sign?) when you are ahead than it is to realize you won the jackpot in love. Many times, in love, you can win and keep playing until you lost it all (and in my case - lost it all again). I guess that the luckiest players have a tendency not to realize that they are indeed lucky (my family would probably call it blessed instead of lucky, but whatever works for you). They don't understand until all too late that they needed to capitalize on their good fortune.

You never know how good the good times really are unless you experience the bad times as well. As Steve Earle said in his song Halo 'Round the Moon from the Transcendental Blues CD:

There's no shelter from the storm
Without the lightening and the rain
And love would hold no charm
If it wasn't for the pain
And it's always been that way
No matter what you do
And no matter what you say
There's a halo 'round the moon

I've been one of the lucky ones throughout my life. The highs have been thrilling, and the lows have been almost unbearable. Today is a low. I should have walked out after the last jackpot that I won, but that was ten years ago next month. Some experts tell me that I could have even walked out a winner as little as two years ago, but I didn't. I hope the experts show me how to come out a winner this time, because I'm ready to walk out of the casino and this has been my favorite jackpot of all time.

Love is... Being Together

E

Quick Update

Well, so much has happened since I last spoke to myself on this thing called a blog. I just haven't felt very bloggy as of late. Election day was a harsh blow to my psyche, and to be honest I don't really want to talk about it. Not much anyway. I have found that the Bush loyalists are as arrogant in victory as they were during the campaign. Some, and only some, of my family has been more tolerant. Some of them look at my Kerry-Edwards fleece and grunt with disgust and walk away. I know that this campaign has deeply divided America, and that we should try to see past party affiliations at this point and move on. I find that hard to do. I'm gonna find it hard to support a president when my grandmother can't afford her medication, or god forbid my brother has to go off to war in Iraq. The blood of these people won't be on my hands - I voted for Kerry.

I'll be enroute for the next couple of weeks heading to wherever life leads me, so my posting will be even more non-existent than usual. But I still love you all - even those of you who hate me for it.

E

Zooker Fired!

This news is now - old news. But it is still sad news. Ron Zook the head coach of the Florida Gator's football program has been fired effective at the end of the season.

No, this isn't sad news because Zooker was a great football coach. It is sad because Ron Zook is a great man. He is not just "a class act", but "THE class act" from the University of Florida. He came in at a time when other coaches abandoned us (Mike Shanahan, Bob Stoops, Steve Spurrier) and rallied the Gators with hard work and determination second to none. He accepted a challenge that no coach ever wants to accept. Zooker followed the legend that is Steve Spurrier. Even a great college coach would have a tough time being successful with this task. However, Zook accepted that challenge gladly. He is the model of everything a Gator should strive to be. He knew what he was getting into, having coached at Florida before in the early 90's with Spurrier. He knew that it was both the best job in the country and probably career suicide all rolled together.

No one has put in more tireless hours for the Gators than Ron Zook. No one. We are talking about a man who told the Florida athletic director that the first thing he needed was a cell phone - a waterproof cell phone - so that he could always be in touch with the players. Zook's tireless recruiting was noticed by all the coaches in the NCAA - in fact rumor was that the NCAA was considering a new rule called "The Zook Rule" to slow down some of his recruiting because it was making the other coaches have to work harder to keep up. Ron Zook defined the term "work ethic" No one ever worked harder. No one.

The reason that this is sad, is not because it was the wrong move, or because it was a bad decision. No, it is because we all want to see good people who work hard be rewarded for their efforts. People with character like Ron Zook, are the people you pull for. They are the reason that you pull for the underdog. If you respect character, then you respect Ron Zook. I watched him give his speech at the press conference where they were announcing his firing and he showed more class than any coach I can remember. The man walked in with his head held high, and went out the same way, as he should. Knowing that he gave us his best as our coach, he left us the same way. We can always be proud of Coach Zook.

Thank You Coach. Thank you for the thrilling victories and the heartbreaking losses that make us appreciate the victories that much more. Thank you for accepting the challenge against all odds, and for recruiting your heart out. Thank you for being a loyal and true Gator.

Thank You, Zooker. Thank You.

Go Gators

More Stuffs

I didn't quite make my 10 day time frame for a new post. I may set myself a new goal to post everyday. It's just so hard to create something profound (which is the only kind of writing I really want to do) on a daily basis. Creativity isn't like a job. It requires thought and freedom, not a time frame. Art created in a time frame is usually somehow related to an attempt to get out or free of the frame. So is the nature of art.

Of all the things I miss, I miss my guitar. There are songs just waiting to be written that keep rattlin' around in my brain. Some have titles and that's all, and some have been fleshed out a bit more with the verses started. I wanted to make sure that I didn't forget to write them, as I have so many times before, so I thought I would post the ideas on the blog so that I can come back later and finish them.

So here are the titles:

Her Smile - A tune about lost love that never began

9pm - In Virginia they execute people at 9pm

Is Jesus a conservative? - Does this need explanation, really?

I'm sure there were a few others but these are the ones that I keep thinking about that I really don't want to forget.

Well, I guess that's it for now.

Remember, be good
And if you can't...
At least be good at it ;)

E

That Time Again

Well, it's been about 10 days so it must be time to update my blog :)

This really is NOT a political blog, but these days my life is so interwound with politics and because this election is so important (they are all important, but this one especially so - until the next one) it becomes hard to ignore. And let's face it, I don't really have anything else to talk about. Except maybe poker. And who really wants a discussion of how to play J - 10 suited pre flop anyway.

Things in DC have been rather busy until just recently. It's the calm before the storm, I believe. Only 22 days left to election day. I hope you exercise your right to vote. I hope that you spend the time and energy necessary to find out which of the candidates is the best person for the position. It's tough to do the work necessary to find someone that you feel comfortable enough with to cast a vote in their favor. I know, I am constantly conflicted about and frequently turned off by the political leaders. But we have to push through this hard work and vote for the right person. Not just for ourselves. Not just for "Our children and future generations". But for those who gave the ultimate sacrifice. For those who gave their lives and limbs and souls for that right. For the right to have a choice. We must chose so that their sacrifice was not in vain. Please vote.

As most of you (or in the case of my limited readership on this blog - both of you) know, I work for the Kerry Edwards 2004 campaign, and I feel that they are the best choice in this presidential campaign. I don't always agree with them on the issues, but I can't see how I can vote the other ticket. I've been an independent voter for as long as I can remember (even though I've voted Republican each election, until now). You just can't vote a party, or hold to a party line. Well, I guess you can - but not very easily if you think for yourself.

I usually have 3 main issues that make up my thought process as to who to vote for (in no particular order):
1. Capital Punishment (I'm against it)
2. Landmines (I'm against them too)
3. Abortion (the taking of life is wrong and innocent life that much more so)

Then after those issues the rest - the economy, the environment, the war in Iraq, the war on terror, etc - all fall together to make up the color of the big picture. I believe that if you look at the issues you will also see that John Kerry is the better of the two candidates. On every issue - except for the Right to Life - President Bush comes out the loser. Go ahead, pick a topic, any topic.

I've met John Kerry. I've worked with his policy people, and with his family. I've gotten to know his advisors. These are good people, who really care about you and me - the 90 + % of Americans who live paycheck to paycheck. The Americans who can't afford health care or child care or clothing without putting it on a credit card and making a Fortune 500 company richer at 18% a month. The Americans who can't afford to pay $2.00 a gallon for gas just to drive to work for a minimum wage of $5.15 an hour. I don't work for President Bush's campaign so I can't talk to you about their people and who they are trying to help, but I can tell you that the main principle that guides the people at the Kerry campaign is "How can we help the American people who need it most?"

Please vote. Please vote for John Kerry. Please vote for a better stronger America.

Worn

I'm forcing myself to write an update because I feel that I'm shirking my blog responsibility by not posting more often. This is really a funny idea, considering that there are probably a sum total of one person who reads this blog - me. But on the outside chance that someone other than myself and a few stragglers (family, previous girlfriends, co-workers - totaling probably 2) will actually read this, I'm gonna go ahead and blog away.

Today's theme is tired. I'm tired. I fell asleep in my boss' office earlier while we were watching Crossfire on CNN. Worn out. I'm hoping to head home and crash early tonight, although I'm not sure I really have that in me. I have to be up and awake until I just can't stand it anymore. Call it a flaw. Much like rambling - which it what I'm doing now. I'll spare us the rest and just say good evening for now. But I will be back tomorrow :)

Catch Up Time

Well, it's been a while, a while too long since I've been here. I didn't post something on 9/11 even thought I probably should have. And I haven't posted anything since the last vigil I attended. Time has been such a commodity as of late. It always is. Even when you think it isn't. Even if you are blissfully unaware of it. Sort of like soybeans. They are a vital part of our economy, but how many of us know that? But regardless of whether or not we know it, the fact remains. Soybeans are important. I hope you grasp the significance of that.

Since I spoke with you last I've met former Governor Howard Dean, Senator Ted Kennedy, and the man I'm working for these days Senator John Kerry. Dean was in very good spirits, and it was good to see him. I was in awe of Senator Kennedy's speaking ability. He has never been one of my favorites, but wow - what mad speaking skills. Senator John Kerry really did have an air of confidence and you begin to see why people rally around him. He was so thankful to everyone for their time and purpose on the campaign. It was a good experience for me to meet these three. Only 43 days left.

My Aunt was in town this weekend, and it was good to catch up with her. We talked mostly about politics. I'm beginning to wonder what I'm gonna do with myself after this is over. I guess I'll embark on my career as a poker player :)

Be good, and if you can't...
At least be good at it

E

Five

Well, once again, it's time to do something that I hope to never do again. Something that I wish I never had to do in the first place. This isn't the first time and sadly it won't be the last. For me it will make the fifth time. Number Five.

At 9pm tonight the Commonwealth of Virginia will put James Reid to death.

You can read about Mr. Reid's case here:
http://www.demaction.org/dia/organizations/ncadp/campaign.jsp?campaign_KEY=133

GO read it.

Now tell me how this is the "right thing" to do. Tell me how the bastard needs to be punished for his crimes - even though he is unable to remember them. Tell me how we should rid our "civilized society" of people like James, whose counsel fell asleep during the proceedings. Tell me how he deserves to die so we should ignore the cruel and unusual punishment that he will have to go through tonight as they have to cut into his arms just to find a vein that they can use to pump the poison to his body.

Now tell me what this solves.

Tonight the Commonwealth of Virginia will be guilty of the same crime (albeit in a much different way) that they are ending James Reid's life for, but it's not just the Commonwealth's guilt. The guilt belongs to all Virginians. James Reid's life is on all our hands. And yours too Governor Mark Warner, especially yours. You are the only one who could have made Mr. Reid's appeals work for him. You are the only one, at this point, who can see justice be done. The only one who can see the system really work.

I've watched this too many times. Once would have been too often. This is five times to often - so far.

Five

Update

Well, it has been way too long since my last post to the Loopness blog. I have neglected this blog, but no more. Today I update the Loopness.

I wanted to give everyone a quick update. I have a new blog up and running. I think that it is really going to be good. It is more focused than this blog. I wanted to have a place people could go to to discover good music from unknown artists, or artists that do not have much national exposure. You can visit my new blog at http://musicloop.blogspot.com to check out my recommendation(s). As time goes on, I hope to have a few people that I trust with their music analysis posting to it and helping the world discover great artists.

Things on the Kerry Edwards 2004 campaign are good. Everyone is upbeat and has the feeling that we are getting ready for the home strech. There is a weariness that comes from the long hours and the never ending work to be done, however I can honestly tell you that no one is giving up and the resolve to take this country in a better direction doesn't waiver. The next two months will define so much for America and Americans for the next decade. Keep watching and learning.

Remember,

Be good, and if you can't...

At least be good at it ;)

E

Momentary Thoughts

I rarely run out of things to say. Most days, I run out of time to say things. I must admit that I haven't been keeping up with posting on this blog as I should. Hey, I have been busy. Busy answering email, fixing Blackberrys, and posting on blogs. In fact you can see my post on the No More Apples blog here. It's more of a political forum, and since that's the workplace that I'm in these days I try to post a little insight there when I can.

Loopness is NOT a political forum, however, it's not taboo here either. Since I do work for Kerry-Edwards 2004, it becomes very tough to escape politics altogether. Which is probably a good thing as I think that we should all attempt to be involved in our system of government.

Well back to work :)

That Time of Year

August is almost over. The dog days of summer still at hand but on their way out ushering in the cool fall fresh air bringing the most desired prize of the year - college football :)

That's right, this weekend we will celebrate the end to the most boring time of the year for television sets across the world when USC takes on Virginia Tech this Saturday evening at 7:40pm EST (yes technically there are earlier games that day, but this is the game with the most possibility for fun and excitement - provided you don't pull for the teams that are scheduled earlier in the day). Televisions sets will again be happy. They will get to fulfill their meaning in life, their reason for existence. Fans will stare at them intently for hours as if they were the most beautiful and perfectly voluptuous woman in the world who had just lost her shirt. We will stare at them without going to the rest room for fear that we might miss a play (yes, except for those of you who have TiVo) and our absence from the TV will result in our team losing due to some weird cosmic bathroom karma.

The beginning of college football season is great. I mean, think about it. All the teams have the same record. Your team has the chance to go all the way this year. My team has that same chance. This is the euphoric time in college football where we are all winners and can all talk legit smack. From here on out we are gonna be trying to figure out what acts of supernatural intervention it will take to get our team through the BCS system and to the national championship game. Some of us would settle for a league championship. And still others would settle for a winning record. These days I'll settle for some college football. Just for the season to be here and in full swing. Because this year we are gonna beat those rivals. I love that time of year.

Sometimes

How do you feel right now? Are you happy? Are you depressed? Do you find that it is hard to describe your feelings? When life throws you the inevitable curve or victory can you really describe how wonderful or painful it really is? I can't.

There is almost no way that I can describe to you how thrilling and exciting it was the first time a music project came together in the recording studio. The feeling that you had put together something that might affect people's lives the way other people's art had affected yours, to convey this feeling to you, words fail me.

I can't tell you in great enough detail to really communicate how my heart sank the time that I saw the alleged woman of my dreams all dolled up to meet her man who just arrived in town. And I just knew at that moment, what the reality really was. She was in love. Her happiness was the bane of my very existence, and the existence of all my mind and heart could ever aspire to become one with. How her most amazing smile that could light the deepest and darkest crevices of my soul would burn through my heart muscles leaving nothing but the remains of a soulmate fantasy, because it is for him that she smiles. And the knowledge that I will never be able to bring that kind of joy to her life even for a brief moment leaves me without breath as a child on a playground who has fallen from the top of the slide and had the wind knocked out of him. Gasping for air to no avail.

Triumphs, defeats, solutions, answers, exhilaration, and all the highs and lows that life has to offer. Sometimes you just can't explain them.

Sometimes

Sadness

Well, it's been a long day. I'm so worn out. I feel like I'm breathing in slow motion. At least I'm still breathing. More than I'll be able to say for James Hudson who will be executed by the commonwealth of Virginia tonight at 9pm. From what I understand of the case, he is guilty of shooting three people in cold blood over a dispute about a driveway. He has given up his appeals and asked the courts to put him to death immediately. He feels guilty for what he did, and he should feel terribly guilty for committing such an awful act against humanity.

It's cases like these that test my belief that capital punishment is wrong. I hate the acts that he did to end the life of others. I'm mad at him for it, and I don't know any of these people that he gunned down. But I cannot bring myself to support the same act of violence. I cannot support state sponsored murder, even when I yearn for revenge to satisfy my basic un-evolved desires. This isn't a discussion as to why capital punishment is right or wrong, I'm sure I will talk about that senselessness later.

Tonight as I go to a vigil against state sponsored murder I will think about those whose lives he took, I'll think about them most, but I'll think about how we perpetuate the issue by killing people to show people that killing people is wrong.

Tonight, I feel sadness.

Under My Skin

I have a sum total of one Blog post under my belt, and the thoughts of continuous posting are running wild through my brain this morning. Right now I'm attempting to post via my Blackberry device, as I walk to work (which explains the difference in font size and styles from other posts).

I was just thinking that it's interesting how people move around the country. Most appear to move around based on job opportunities, and some based on care needs. Then others (especially younger folks) relocate because of "love".

I like to move around the country, and live in various places and atmospheres. I'm prolly nomadic in nature. The funny thing about that is, I have to admit, I'm mostly a home body when not working. But this got me thinking. Maybe people are nomadic in nature. But there are some people who stay in the same town all their lives and never venture out of their state.

I guess that it comes down to the same thing each time we look at it. We are all individuals who enjoy what we enjoy. Regardless of how we attempt to stereotype and classify people into groups and try to put them into boxes - it never works. Because in one way or another, we are all exceptions to the rule.

Yeah, this Blogging thing is under my skin.

In the Beginning

In the beginning the Blogger created the Blog. And the Blog was without form and void. And darkness was upon the face of the page. And the spirit of Blog moved upon the face of the page. And the Blogger said let there be content: and with much typing and some thought there was content...

I have to admit, I have a really hard time grasping the Blog concept. Mostly because it doesn't have strict, or really, any defining properties. I mean, it's a web page that we invented a new name for. So now instead of saying "Check out my web page!" we say "Check out my Blog!"

I guess, we need to find a way to sell yet another product. Go capitalism. But since I am internally conflicted as ever I have to admit, that since I'm not paying a thing to post my Blog in all of its Blogness and that I am using someone elses bandwidth to do so, that the possibility exists this is not JUST another way to sell a product. Does introspection have to be this tough, or is it just truthful introspection that hurts?

One thing that almost always seems to be a constant in new beginnings is optimism. You have a new relationship and you envision weddings and kids (if you are a woman) or "The One" (if you are a guy). A new job comes along, and there seems to be no limit to where you could go from here. The beginning of college football season - the epitome of optimism. And it is no different with the Blog.

And the Blogger saw everything that he had typed, and, behold he thought it was good.